How to prioritise YOU this February

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.” - Mandy Hale

Can we say it louder for the people in the back?

Making yourself a priority is KEY to you being able to show up as the best version of you.

Listen, I totally get it… life can get in the way, we get side tracked with obnoxiously long to-do lists, find ourselves feeling lost, uninspired, or overwhelmed, and managing that is hard.

Most think the solution is to be more organised, be more productive, get more done, streamline your to-do list… it’s not.

The foolproof, sustainable way to manage this is actually far simpler, it’s about…

Come back to YOU.

Firstly, WTF does that even mean!?

Simply put it’s about prioritising you and your inner state as a way of changing your outer reality.

This February, whether you’re madly in love with your ‘boo’, making peace with the single life or celebrating with your girls, this month (frankly, every month) should be THAT pivotal reminder to put yourself first.  

Let’s face it — February can be a triggering month for many of us, with the concept of love being smushed into our faces from every angle. It’s safe to say that Valentine's Day isn’t exactly an equal opportunity holiday.

But it’s not all about romantic love and only showing up for that on February 14th… it’s about putting yourself first on a regular basis. If anything, this should be a moment that we flip the script and learn to love ourselves more fiercely and without any pressure on our relationship status or situation.  

So, here are FOUR ways you can prioritise YOU this February.

1. Slow Down

Life can feel a little crazy as we balance the juggle act of ‘doing it all’. We can feel as if we are constantly chasing our tails, looking for our next dopamine hit or looking for that PERFECT reason to avoid what we KNOW we really need to do (we’re all guilty).

Which is to slow TF down.  

Yes, quite literally stop, breathe, and recalibrate on what we actually want to bring into our lives and what we need in that moment, hour, afternoon or week.

Slowing down gives us those moments to reflect on where we may have been losing ourselves a little, spending too much time on our laptops and not enough time talking to our friends. Or falling into that complaining cycle which has you feeling like everything is wrong or not working and far worse than is without doing the things you KNOW would help you.

Well, it’s time to grab the bull by the horns and hit STOP before our body stops us.

“If you listen to your body when it whispers, you won't have to hear it scream" - Dan Millman 

2. Boundaries

Leading nicely in from slowing down, one of the best ways to do that is to implement boundaries.

If it’s not a whole-body f*ck yes, it's a hard no from me. And it’s time to start saying no to the things you don’t really want to do.

Boundaries are there to support how you want to live and to make sure you’re living in alignment with your values. They are there for your happiness, sanity, protection and to create support the kind of life you want to live.  

If something feels ‘off’ it’s usually because you need a boundary and don’t have one, OR you’re out of alignment with your values and you’re not honouring a boundary you have.

“Those who reject your boundaries are likely the ones who benefited you from having none in the first place.” — Unknown.

You may have found your time being taken up by certain tasks, activities, draining conversations or even too many social commitments… this is where you need to step up and start review your boundaries.

Boundaries take many forms.

• Physical boundaries:
  protect your space, property, and body.

• Emotional boundaries:
  allow you to have your own emotions and thoughts and protect you from emotional harm, such as abuse, betrayal, invalidation.

• Professional Boundaries
  allow you to put a stop to burnout, overworking, feeling uncomfortable in the workplace or saying no to a triggering client.

• Time Boundaries:
  align with how you use your time, setting enough time for the commitments important to you and making sure others are not demanding too much of it.

You don’t need to boldly announce your boundaries - you teach people what they are by how you interact with the, what you say yes or no to, how you behave and react to things.

Not all boundaries will sound like no, some may sound like: 

Emotional:

“I’m not looking for any advice or solutions, I would just like you to listen.”

“I’d appreciate you communicating about XZY by having a conversation directly with me.”

“If you raise your voice or shout at me, I will walk away from the conversation until you’ve calmed down.”

Time:

“I am not sure that I can commit to that right now. I’ll get back to you.”

“I need some space from this issue. I don’t have anything else to say about it.”

“I need some time to reflect on what you’ve said. Let’s meet again once I’ve done this.” “I’d love to be involved. Let me look at my schedule and I’ll get back to you.”

Physical:

“Please do not comment on my (weight, appearance, etc.)” you could even add, I find it disrespectful and uncomfortable.

“I'm comfortable holding hands and being affectionate but not kissing in public.”

Professional:

“I’m really committed to doing a great job. To give my best during my working day, I won’t be responding to emails after 7PM so I can spend time with my family.”

 “I’d like to support with that project, it sounds interesting. Right now, I am at capacity with my workload. What would you suggest I de-prioritise to do that? Can you help with that?”

”When I’m online my notifications aren’t always on so I can focus on getting work done. I’m not always checking emails or slack so won’t always respond straight away. Know I’ll respond as soon as I can” 

BUT here’s the ringer… boundaries can also be for yourself.

“I will ask for help before I’m overwhelmed.”

“I will use loving terms when describing my body or talking to myself.”

“I will slow down and take a day for myself each week.”

“I won’t say yes to things I really want to say no to.”

“I’ll only spend time with people who make me feel good and don’t drain my energy.”  

You get the gist here…boundaries are not demands, they are a way of respecting yourself, showing up for yourself and most importantly…prioritising yourself.

3. Show Up For Yourself

You need to start showing up for yourself… put yourself first…

Showing up for yourself means putting yourself as at least an equal priority as you do other people and things in your life. Without being cryptic, that means listening to your gut, your body, and your mind.

Ever had that tightening in your stomach when thinking of something?

Ever felt anxious at the thought of an event?

Ever felt resentment towards a certain person, place or activity?

These emotions are the emotions you need to tap into. These are your signals that maybe something isn’t right Rather than ignoring, dismissing, or judging them, start to become more aware of them and question why you’re feeling that way. Understanding why this is coming up for you is the first step to feeling more in control and taking responsibility for feeling differently

Hint: This is likely done by making sure you’re putting yourself first and doing the things that support and nurture you vs doing things for everyone else to the detriment of you.  

Again, this links back to your boundaries, how can you honour yourself more? Deprioritising something, saying no to an upcoming event, finding the balance so you don’t feel compromised.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO COMPROMISE YOURSELF SO OTHERS AREN’T COMPROMISED!

It’s important to put yourself first, you deserve to feel supported and nourished, and you also deserve to feel supported and nourished by YOU.

So… what can you do when prioritising yourself? 

4. Make quality time for you

You are important, the main character, the leading lady, in your story. A living, breathing strong woman who deserves to be front and centre in her life.

You are the one in charge of your own self-care. The uncomfortable truth is that not someone else's job to make sure you have what you need to operate at your best. It’s yours.

It’s time to prioritise time for you.

Does it mean taking yourself on solo wine dates?  

Potentially, yes. And what it can also mean is:

• A night in when everyone is going out and feeling JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) vs FOMO.

• Setting up the things you for your day to start in a way you want it to the night before so you can roll straight out of bed and into that morning routine you love.

• Booking yourself a getaway.

• Running yourself a bath and focussing on a full self-love night.

• Booking a massage with your favourite therapist.

• Go to the movies.

• Dress up and enjoy a meal at a restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to.

• Treat yourself based on what a ‘treat’ means to you.

• Get an AMAZING night’s sleep. 

It’s time to stop waiting for other people to treat us like the leading lady that we are and step into the energy we want to cultivate.

It’s time for you to put yourself first, have fun, create the memories you want to create and do that in a way which leaves your cup feeling full. 

As I quoted at the start:

“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”  

Write down how you can show up for yourself this week, this month, or this year.

Get inspired, slow down, say no if it’s not a f*ck yes, choose to put yourself first and make the time to full your cup so you feel ready to show up as your best self!

And if you’d like to learn more ways to love yourself or communicate how you want to be loved, make sure to read this blog.