Are you blocking yourself from living life on your terms?

Why hello there, I’m glad you’re here and about to get a quick insight into how to unblock yourself so you can finally live life on your terms.

But before we start getting clear on what that means, I want you to take yourself back to when you were a child.

At a time in your life when you didn’t think about consequences or why you were doing something, you’d just play; run, skip or prance about from one thing to another with zero care and zero blocks.

You’d ask the silly questions, launch yourself off the swing risking a broken limb and pretend you were the princess or prince of the castle.

Those were some good times, right?

But then you grew up and started overthinking things.

Started putting blockers in on your life, maybe without realising it!

So, what does living life on your terms even mean?

Living life on your terms means living a life that makes you happy and one that allows you to be at your full potential in a way which you are choosing. It’s being intentional about the way you choose to live and doing that on your terms. It means levelling up to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Blocking yourself from living life on your terms means you’re standing in the way of your own greatness by overthinking things you don’t really need to, making excuses for why you aren’t doing something, worrying about what others might think or even feeling too scared to DO THE THING.

Now, don’t go punishing yourself before we even start, because I want this to be that little nudge or wake-up call you needed to get things going again. We’re over 3 months into 2023, and this is the perfect time to take a little look back on the past 3 months and assess where you’ve held yourself back and what has prevented you from hitting some of your milestones already!

What are you consuming?

con·sume

verb

1. eat, drink, or ingest (food or drink).
2. use up (a resource).

What are you feeding your life?

What you choose to consume can in turn become a blocker to living life on your terms. This refers to the things you take in literally such as food, then through your sense, media, people, and experiences. Consuming too much junk food, for example, can impact your physical health and energy levels, while constantly consuming negative news or spending time with toxic people can affect your mental health and well-being. Making conscious choices to consume nutritious food, uplifting media and positive relationships can improve your overall health and happiness, helping you live life on your terms.

So many of our ideas and creativity are based on what we consume as a whole. Everything we choose to put into our bodies; physically and mentally will in turn shape our experiences, beliefs, attitudes, and opinions. Our perception of the world around us can be impaired when we’re constantly in a cycle of negative consumption.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re going to come across negativity and junk food daily, but it’s a choice of how or if we consume them. What you choose in these moments will determine whether or not this becomes a blocker in your life.

If we are wanting to become the healthiest versions of ourselves but keep binge-eating Doritos at 10pm to re-runs of Love Island, we’re not actively supporting what we say we want for ourselves.

If you’re looking to start talking to yourself more kindly but surround yourself with friends who constantly criticise themselves and others, you’re not creating the right kind of environment that allows you to consume the things which are going to support you in that. Not to mention, if they are talking about others behind their back, what are your ‘friends’ saying about you?!

What are signs that I’m blocking myself?

A great question.

There will be tell-tale signs that you’re preventing yourself from showing up. You’ll know you’re doing it before I even mention it in a minute. You know that niggly feeling you get, telling you something doesn’t feel quite, right? That will be your intuition kicking in to tell you that you’re preventing yourself from showing up in life as you want to.

Listen to that niggly feeling. You know more than you think my friend, but either way…let’s look at some signs you’re blocking yourself with some ideas on how to overcome them!

1. Negative self-talk

One of the biggest blocks to living life on your terms is negative self-talk. You spend the most time with yourself. What you say or don’t say to yourself matters. This can take many forms, from criticising yourself for not being good enough to never celebrating yourself and telling others when you hit your goals. To overcome this, start by becoming more aware of your self-talk and how you speak to yourself or even about yourself to others. Start to replace negative thoughts with positive ones by catching yourself when you head down that negative nelly thinking route. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who believe in you and your abilities and hold you accountable to being more supportive and kinder to yourself.

2. Fear of failure

Fear of failure is a common block that prevents many people from reaching their full potential. The older we get the more fear we hold onto when it comes to taking risks. Most of this comes from feeling like we have more to lose. We don’t really, but our minds are manipulative f*ckers. The fear of making mistakes or not being good enough can be overwhelming and bloody frustrating, but it's important to remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process. Instead of being afraid of failure, embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Easier said than done, but if you look at the progression of well-known successful people, I guarantee you’ll read about their MANY failures before they achieve their success!

3. Procrastination

Putting things off until later can be a major obstacle and blocker. Whether it's a big project at work or a personal goal, procrastination can hold you back and prevent you from achieving your dreams. Ever spent that little bit too long scrolling on TikTok or Instagram? Choosing to watch one more episode of your favourite series instead of hitting the gym? Staying up far too late, knowing full well you have to be up early to have a productive workday…we’ve all been guilty! To overcome this, bring awareness to the moment when you are procrastinating and acknowledge it. It’s a choice to procrastinate, just like it’s a choice to be productive. Take responsibility for it. No one is forcing you to watch back-to-back episodes of your favourite series - you’re choosing to do that vs whatever else you think you should or want to be doing. Find strategies to break the procrastination cycle; break your goals down into smaller, manageable tasks and focus on taking action, no matter how small, each day. Make a commitment to yourself and keep it.

4. Lack of direction

Sometimes, we block simply because we don't know what we want or what our goals are. You don’t have to have it all figured out but knowing what's important to you, how you want to feel and how you want to show up in life will help provide some direction you might feel you’re lacking. Sometimes it takes a while to figure this out. Give yourself that time. Set the intention that you’re looking to gain some clarity on your direction. If you’re feeling a little lost, take some time to reflect then, set specific, achievable goals in these areas and develop a plan for reaching them. Having a focus helps. Even if that focus changes as you journey towards what you want.

5. Limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs, such as "I'm not smart enough" or "I'll never be successful," can hold us back from reaching our full potential. Especially if we throw some comparison trap nonsense into the mix. However, what’s amazing about limiting beliefs is that you can create new more helpful beliefs just by introducing some doubt and questioning how true they are. Are you really ‘not smart enough’? What evidence do you have to support that, beyond your own thinking? If you catch yourself thinking in a way which limits your potential; write it down and then challenge it and look for evidence that proves they’re not true. Become your biggest cheerleader. Be your own inspiration — you are not your thoughts; your thoughts are what YOU chose to think.

Living life on your terms requires overcoming the obstacles that are holding you back. Whether it's negative self-talk, fear of failure, procrastination, a lack of direction, or limiting beliefs, these blocks are just that, blocks, that you can navigate your way around or through. It requires a willingness to change how you’re thinking about things and what you’re doing based on that thinking.

Not everything will feel smooth sailing but start by identifying the obstacles in your life and taking small, consistent steps to overcome them. Slow and steady wins the race. Let go of your blockers and live life on your terms.

Want a little more accountability? Download this daily reflection sheet with helpful prompts to identify how or where you’re holding yourself back today.