5 steps to let go of the BS and stop giving as many f*cks

Ever felt as if the advice of ‘stop giving a f*ck’ felt a little undirected?  

Okay cool, me too.  

Like how the f*ck do you give less f*cks?

Because let’s be honest, sometimes it’s hard to stop giving one. Or giving many.   We have all given a f*ck about certain things in our lives, from people, jobs, parties etc, and we have all not given a f*ck about certain things in our lives, from people, jobs, parties etc…you see the pattern here.  

We’ve potentially looked on with admiration at someone putting the middle finger up to their job or relationship, taking huge risks and putting themselves out there on social media or packing up their lives and moving abroad. You’ve probably said f*ck this to many a thing before without even realising it.  

Life is full of universal BS, spinning on different axes, in different directions, like the big scary solar system up and out there. Sometimes, many times, we let it get in the way of the things that are really important. Universal bullshit is that haze on the horizon that pollutes your vision of what’s important and what’s not.  

 We can get so caught up in worrying about things; things that don’t need to be worried about in the here and now. I call this future tripping. Giving a f*ck about the things that future me might need to worry about but present me most definitely doesn’t!

It is far too easy to get blinded by the BS when what we really need to do is consciously decide what to give a f*ck about and what to let the f*ck go.  

Easier said than done. I know.  

How do we know when to say f*ck this and change course or direction, to that relationship, job, or situation – and when to stick with it because we don’t want to quit or if it’s BS that needs wading through to get to the other side?

As Winston Churchill once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  

Tough question but challenging yourself on this can help you live your life in a way which means you ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ and deal with the BS that you REALLY need to be dealing with vs that universal bullshit; that haze on the horizon; that is polluting your vision of what’s important and what’s not happening.  

Ask yourself:

• Is this really important?
• Is this something present me needs to worry about or am I future tripping?
• Is this something that's going to impact me short term or long term?
• How is this impacting my life right now and do I need to do something about it?

What we really need to ask is, what matters in the here and now that is going to either help us in not only the short-term but the long-term in achieving our bigger picture goals?   What REALLY matters are the things actually happening, not the mights or coulds. We want to focus on here now to propel us to the place we want to be, closer to our goals, more aligned with how we want to live life and behaving in a way that represents the person we want to be.   Obsessively overthinking things: worrying about what dress to wear, whether to have chicken or beef for dinner, whether the person in the coffee shop thought you were being rude when you asked them to pass the sugar, or the person on the street asking for donations that you avoided eye contact with and kept walking.

Who gives a f*ck?

Is that the best use of your mental capacity and energy?

I’d argue, no. Absolutely not.

Give a f*ck about the things that are important to you; upsetting friends or family, doing something morally wrong, not being happy at work, hating the relationship you’re in, not feeling good about how you show up in life.

Those are the things to give a f*ck about.

So, prioritise the f*cks you’re giving because they require your energy and focus.
 

Think big picture. Don’t get stuck in the weeds. Take the bigger things and break them into bite-size cookie chunks which are digestible:

• Write a list of the things that are on your mind right now
• What’s clouding your head or judgment and draining your energy?

And then take action. Be proactive. Get to work. Start addressing the f*cks you need to and put the rest in the bin, or at least to one side till you know that you really need to deal with them.

Always remember the bigger picture.

We need to start giving a f*ck about less and focusing a bit more. On us. On the real shit in life. On our goals. On our health. On our actual life story.

Life takes effort, emotion, and energy to achieve what you want. So, save your f*cks for the stuff that ACTUALLY matters.

So, let’s look at it more tangibly shall we?

Five steps to give less F*cks

1. Get clear on what’s important to you

Worrying about the spinning plates of bullshit in your day-to-day life, is understandable but are they going to get you your dream home? Your next holiday? Your next client?  

No. Clear the cobwebs. It might not be spring yet, but there’s no time like the present for some mental or general life spring cleaning.

• Write down your big-picture goals.
• Where you want to be. How you want to be. Who you want to be.

“When you know what’s important, it’s a lot easier to ignore what’s not.” - Marie Forleo

2. Prioritise

If you don’t want to work with a tough client, don’t. They’re draining you.

If you don’t want to continue hanging out with a negative friend in your life, don’t. They’re draining you.

It is up to you, who and what you let into your life, but not enough of us seem to take a step back, look inward, and outward, and figure out what is holding us back both energetically and emotionally.

• What needs your attention?
• Write down a list of all your BS, day to day worry’s
• How is this impacting your life right now?
• Do you need to do something about it?

Understand that not giving a f*ck isn’t about not caring, it’s about caring and prioritising the things that MATTER!

3. What action can you take to change things?

Is this in your control?

If not, find a way to let it go. You can’t control the uncontrollable. Trying to control the things you have no control over is like trying to mop the floor without being able to turn off the tap.

If it is within your control:

• What can you do about it?
• Who can help?
• What would help?

Write down a list of all the nitty gritty, BS, day to day worry’s and start reordering what’s going to get you one step ahead, and what’s going to keep you stuck in the mud

4. What others do is none of your business

Stop caring what people think, especially those that aren’t reaching for the stars.

Put the right foot forward. Make a stand. BE DIFFERENT.

Different is good. Different is beautiful!

So, what if you don’t have a white picket fence and 3 screaming toddlers in the front garden with warm-baked cookies in the oven? Does that mean you aren’t successful? Doesn’t that mean you haven’t done well in life?  

If it’s not for you, it’s not for you, and that is ok. More than ok.  

If you’re not working a conventional 9 – 5 in the city and hating your life on the commute there and back, does that mean you aren’t on track? I’d say the opposite.  

You don’t need to give q f*ck what other people think if they aren’t people who are important to you or people you look to for motivation and inspiration. 

Don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks (but always be kind) and just do you.

5. Solve problems, don’t make them

Now you’ve spring cleaned, keep it up.

Spend time solving the big issues, and not creating heaps more small ones. KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE GOAL.

You know what’s important to you.

You have a clear focus on the end goal.

If you compare yourself, hold yourself back or create more friction, you’re only going to create more problems.

You know all the answers, trust your gut!

Remember, this is for you…

Fall in love with the journey to get to the top, fall in love with the effort it takes to get there, and fall in love with the idea that great things happen to those who go against the grain.  

Solve your problems, not make more of them.

How? Stop giving a f*ck about things that aren’t worth giving a f*ck about.  

Take a minute to appreciate your life, you’re here right now, wanting to do better, be better. That’s a good start, isn’t it? The world is a playground with life being a ride, and rides are supposed to be fun.

The good and the bad. Learn from your experiences and use those mistakes to propel you forward and further.  

Failure is not a failure unless you give up.

And you are not a quitter.