14 self-care practices to level up your self-love

Loving yourself isn’t always easy.

We can be our own worst enemies.

Trust me when I say I have been through the wringer on this self-love journey of mine, and often the last thing you want to hear when battling demons is:

You need to learn to love yourself.

Yes, Karen… I know that. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t interested in upping the self-love game.

But how do you love yourself? Jesus, I struggled to like myself at points, let alone love myself.

The thing about self-love is that it’s okay to not fully love every part of yourself. However, you can learn to accept, cherish, and respect those parts of you a little more every day without shunning yourself in the mirror or negatively self-talking.

February may be the month of love, but we’re here to love our growing butts not become the butt of our own jokes, up our game when it comes to self-compliments and allow ourselves to ugly cry when we need to.

Because we are human beings that are complex and at times a bit too f*cking hard on ourselves… we’re perfectly imperfect just as we are.

Nevertheless, I’m here to walk alongside you, be your hype woman and cheer you on from the side-lines by helping you in owning every inch of your perfectly, imperfect self. Before we dive into the practical bit, let’s get clear on what self-love is.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. It means taking care of number one, not burning yourself out, sacrificing yourself and not settling for less than you deserve.

Self-love is unique to you. We all have a multitude of ways we like to take care of ourselves, however, sometimes we need that little bit of inspiration to dive into what that can look like.

So, if you need some inspiration, here 14 self-care practices to level up your self-love.

Self-care practices to level up your self-love

1. Get out of the comparison trap

We now have access to so many people’s lives that we didn’t have before, courtesy of social media. Comparing ourselves has become the norm. The danger with this is that you’re comparing without context, and you might find yourself in the trap of comparing your starting point to someone’s finale. Comparison truly is the thief of joy. Stay in your lane, realign the energy towards you and focus on what you’re doing. If you need to compare, use it as a tool to motivate not discourage.

2. Listen to yourself

Your opinion counts. How many times have you said to yourself, ‘I should have listened to my gut’… once too many if you’re anything like me! Yes… the support of others is key to living a fulfilled life and others’ opinions can be valid, however, you know yourself better than anybody else does and often the advice you seek you already know the answer to. When it comes to the opinions of others; Society, your parents, your peers or the post person; feel free to listen but know you get to choose how you live your life. Do YOU boo!

3. Mirror Work

What is this mirror malarky? It’s quirky, powerful, and sometimes uncomfortable AF. It involves looking at yourself in the mirror while saying positive affirmations such as "I love myself," "I am strong” and “I am worthy”. Harder than it sounds. Trust me! I know, it can seem quite daunting at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it becomes, and I promise you it makes a difference. If nothing else, it makes you aware of how awkward you feel praising yourself. Think of how often you look in the mirror and criticise f critique yourself? What if you took a moment to look yourself in the eye and remind yourself what an incredible human you are. Before dismissing, try it!

4. Take more risks

Taking risks is scary. As we get older, we can start to feel like we have ‘more to lose’ and so the risk feels bigger. It isn’t.  Sure, it means you could end up failing. BUT the fear of failure and taking risks is just our subconscious trying to keep us safe, and sometimes we must put fear aside and take the leap. Great things come from failing, and incredible things come from just saying f*ck it. You try, you learn, you move on. It’s life. Live it.

5. Stop punishing your body

Your home, the thing you take for granted, is your body. Stop punishing her for everything she has carried you through, the injuries she has healed, the weights she has lifted, the children you might have birthed, the stress you’ve navigated, the late nights or early mornings you’ve endured (or had fun with!). Your body is the vessel you walk around in every day. And if you’re lucky she will carry you into old age, healthily and happily. The hard truth is that your body is the least interesting thing about you. Be kind to her and do what YOU KNOW works so you feel good in your vessel. It’s THE most liberating thing you can do for yourself. So, dress how you want, eat what makes you feel good, move her the way that makes you feel powerful or cared for. Start nourishing her NOT punishing her.

6. Self-pleasure (not just 'that')

Part of nourishing your body involves getting to know her… yes ladies, I’m going there. Self-pleasure in all forms, physically, mentally or emotionally is something YOU should take responsibility for. Get to know what you like and how you like it - self exploration, however you want to do it, is key here. Take the time to feel pleasure for yourself. Have a long bath, light some candles and using your expensive moisturiser, play music and dance, cook, or order in your favourite meal, buy yourself a s*x toy or two and explore yourself more intimately. We’re all friends here… life is meant to be enjoyed; your body is meant to be celebrated. Find ways of doing that and don’t be shy!

7. Say ‘no’

‘No’ is a complete sentence. ‘No, thank you’ if like me you were brought up to remember your manners. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If it’s not a f*ck yes, it’s a no. Stop doing the sh*t you don’t want to do, set boundaries, prioritise yourself and align your life with your values, and nobody else's. Saying ‘no’ can feel uncomfortable, so find ways to make sure you’re not saying ‘yes’ to things or people, that you should be saying ‘no’ to!

8. Listen to your gut

You were born with an intuitive gene. Your gut knows more than you think. They don’t call it the second brain for no reason. That niggly voice in the back of your head, the way your stomach might churn or get excited… that’s your intuition kicking in, listen to it. Your feelings are valid, stop doubting yourself and lean into trusting yourself. The more you do it, the more finely tuned it will become. If you can’t trust yourself, who TF can you trust?

9. Prioritise self-care

It’s time to take care of YOU. Book in for that massage, invest in a skincare routine, introduce more greens into your diet, do more yoga, treat yourself to the cake. Slow down, connect back to yourself and indulge in prioritising YOU.

10. Have more fun

A friend and I sat for hours last week discussing the things we were letting go, inviting in and manifesting for our year ahead, one of which was… to have more fun. Fun doesn’t have to be wild nights out and tequila shots, although if you’re offering, I’m in. So long as I’m home by 9PM! Make time for yourself to have FUN; do something YOU want to do, take a longer lunch break, try a new activity, gym class, wine bar, create excitement in your life and find the fun in the simple pleasures.

11. See beauty in the simple things

A follow-on from having more fun is finding the beauty in the simple things. Our everyday can’t be filled with adrenaline highs, new dates, different activities, and new hobbies, because we’d end up burning ourselves out. Instead, hone in on the simple things. The way the light hits the sofa in the morning, the flowers you notice sprouting in the garden, that first sip of morning coffee, how great the shampoo smells as you wash your hair, the walk to work. You get to do these things for yourself every day, find the joy in the simplicity.

12. Meditate

Before we start with this, full disclosure, and unpopular opinion, but I find meditating hard. There I said it. Meditation does NOT need to be an hour-long process; it can be 35 minutes to simply connect back to your breath. It can be in the moments whilst you wait for your food to heat up, doing the washing up, walking to work, sunbathing, or even scheduling 10 minutes in your diary to sit, be still and come back to you. Meditation has been around for centuries and has proven research that highlight the benefits, take your time with it and be kind as you start. It doesn’t have to be a sit down with your eyes closed kinda thing, walking meditation, where I just become aware of my breathing and what’s around me is one of my favourite things to do.

13. Be kind to yourself

The world is filled with harsh words, sad news and social media scrolls making you doubt yourself — hello comparison. It’s time to stop adding your own critical words and negative self-talk into the mix. Instead, celebrate yourself regularly, the small wins more than the big ones. Pull yourself up when you find yourself slipping into negative self-talk. Awareness if your friend here. As soon as you catch yourself being anything less than kind to yourself, STOP. Affirmations are a powerful thing to use to help with this.

14. Be bold

Be your most authentic, bold self. What do you have to lose? Speak your mind, show up as the most confident version of you, take action and go after the things you want… you’re worthy, you’re deserving and have the right to embrace your whole self. Don’t look back with regret at the things you didn’t say or do. Be brave in how you show up in life. When you look back, you’ll be so glad you did.

What to do with all this?

• Follow through on the things you commit to.

• When you tell yourself you’re going to do something - do it.

• Become the kind of person YOU can rely on.

• Back yourself.

You are, powerful beyond belief. You are so much more capable, deserving, and worthy than you often give yourself credit for.

Take this time to reflect on how you can start integrating self-love into your daily rituals and routines. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, which means falling ‘in love’ with yourself doesn’t happen overnight.

Committing to making YOU a priority is the first step, in the many steps you can take to consistently levelling up your self-love.

I’m here to support every self-love act you create for yourself!